This still makes me awkward.

Good days and bad days are totally normal for those with a mental illness. This is expected, and is run of the mill.

I’ve got beautiful family and friends. Proper keepers. But I really, really struggle with what to tell them when I’m feeling flat, or when I’m feeling low. I consider myself to be moving forward with my treatment and management, but man there are some days I just want to lie in bed and not get up. You know, create a little world, just for me, where it isn’t hard to put one foot in front of the other. And just stay there.

On one of those days I may get asked to have dinner with a group of friends, but it all just seems like a bit much to conquer. My reply tends to be, “I’m not feeling that great” or, “I’m just so tired.” Those replies are what I like to think of as ‘kinda-not-really-imma-keeping-a-lid-on-things’ honest – I may not be feeling that great and I may be feeling tired – but they are just symptoms of something more. It isn’t like I want to scream out “my mind feels like a Google Chrome browser with 250 tabs open!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!” I would love my response to be considered, but truly honest. 

Can you say “I’m feeling a bit depressed today, I think I just want to go home and watch some TV?” Or can you say, “Going out for dinner and drinks just feels a bit overwhelming at the moment, can we move our catch-up to next week?” I want to be more honest. I want to really tell the truth as much as I can.

I think my fam, my friends, my workmates can handle it. I actually think, amazingly, this one is on me.

What do you guys think?


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